No Escape From Genetics

James O. Born

It's not actually genetics I'm trying to escape from. In fact, I appreciate the genes my father and mother passed on to me. But despite my best efforts, I’ve found that almost no matter what I do, eventually I start to sound like my father with a slightly clearer voice and a more limited vocabulary. Nowhere is this more clear than my shortsighted, ignorant, intolerant, loudmouth view on movies.

I can remember arguing with my dad over his dismissal of such 1970 classics as Smokey and the Bandit or Close Encounters without ever having seen the films. He loved good movies and certain directors, whether they produced good films or not. There was no rhyme or reason to his tastes either. He loved something as funky as the Terry Gilliam film Brazil to something as mainstream as all the James Bond movies. But if he had a hint of something he thought might be juvenile or stupid or didn't like the title of the movie, he would write it off without considering any review or recommendation from someone else. Although it made me angry as a teenager I now find I do exactly the same thing on a regular basis.

I have a movie package bundled with my cable modem and as a result have every possible movie channel on TV. I scroll through them at blinding speeds, searching for something I find amusing, interesting or at least with good looking women. By the way my suggestion for the latter is Cinemax anytime after eleven o'clock eastern time. But that's another subject.

But certain titles and descriptions turn me off completely. Perhaps I'm wrong and I'm looking for someone here to point out the value in some of the drech that comes down the river on HBO or Showtime at all hours of the day.

The first one I've noticed is Righteous Kill with Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro. I regret to say that I have not seen an Al Pacino movie that I didn't think he was overacting so much he made Charlton Heston look like a telephone answering machine. Who would've thought that he wouldn't go anywhere after the Godfather. And just the stupid phrase Righteous Kill would keep me from watching 10 seconds of this critical and box office loser.

Don't Say a Word with Michael Douglas. I realize it's a movie from 2001, but I see it on the channel guide. If I've avoided it for eight years I'm pretty sure it will not be taking up two hours of my Saturday night.

Coyote Ugly. Now that I'm over twenty-one, I'll just go to a real bar if I want to see pretty women pouring drinks and not care about their lives in any way.

Awake. Hayden Christiansen convinced me in the Star Wars movies that I never really had to see him again in anything where his name didn't include Vader. People that don't go unconscious with anesthetic. Please. As long as they can't scream and annoy me, I don't really care.

These are just a few of the movies I won't give a chance to. Which ones are on your list? And have I made a serious error in any of these four?