This is it?

Is this all there is?

To me, this is one of the most elemental questions of humanity. It raises a host of similar questions such as, Why are we here? Does God have a plan for us? Is there such a thing as destiny? All valid questions once one gets past, How do I survive? Nothing stifles philosophic investigation like an empty stomach. But those of us writing and reading a blog like this are probably not concerned about taking in enough calories to make it through just one more day.

So what does that leave us? Back to square one. Is this all there is? This question has plagued me since my first year after college. It may be that up until then I was too involved in the race to get out of the Florida public school system. I know many of you might mock the notion that a public school education leading to a bachelor’s from Florida State was really enough to occupy someone’s mind to the point of ignoring something like questioning your existence, but apparently it worked. Just like every other goal I set and started running toward in an effort to evade the most important issue I might face. It led me to graduate school and a devotion to long-term sports like running and karate. Each with goals built into them that could focus the mind. In my case it was more like distracting my mind from the really troubling question: Is this it?

I believe part of the answer is as simple as raising kids. The desire to have happy kids that go on to have happy productive lives is as much instinct as it is love. How would the species survive if one generation didn’t want the next to do better? Does a father in China have less hope for his son than a writer from Florida? Does the sense that you have succeeded finally quench the thirst to know if this is all there is? I have no answers. I’m looking for common ground. Is this a condition many suffer?

I have always been a happy person, not prone to depression or pessimism. I do wonder, however, if depressed people are focused on this question? Unlike Tom Cruise, I realize that much of depression is chemically based and can be treated with prescription drugs. But how much of it is existentially based? How many people simply can’t grapple with the question of why they are here? How many successful people are simply driven by goals to keep their intellect from probing these kinds of questions?

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of science fiction. I’ve read more SF books and seen more SF movies than I can recall. Now I realize that my attraction to the genre could be due to the theme in many of these stories. Is this all there is? From Star Trek: The Motion Picture, where Spock realizes the emerging life-form is merely asking “Is this all there is?” To one of the Dune books opening a chapter with the ancient proverb “God help the man who has achieved all his goals.” This basic question is a universal phenomenon, which stretches across geography, religion and culture.

I’m happy I love something like writing. I’m thrilled my novels are published. But this is not the legacy I hope I’m remembered for. I don’t know exactly what I want to be remembered for specifically, but I hope I can do better than some published books. My children raising happy families of their own would be one thing I would hope to leave behind. And in many years, I would like to think that one of these grandchildren would look to the heavens and ask, “Is this all there is?”

If they didn’t then nothing would ever change.