Paul the Contrarian

By Paul Levine

I'm feeling ornery and contrary, and here's the proof:

YOU CAN SPELL? I DON'T CARE: Is there anything as meaningless as the national spelling bee? What good does it do kids to spell a word without knowing its meaning and how to use it? A televised spelling bees is just another lousy reality show with manufactured melodrama.


LAY & SKILLINGS, BONDS & SELIG: Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted, in part, because the judge instructed the jury that “conscious indifference” to wrongdoing is no defense for corporate bigwigs. Fair enough. Let’s apply that standard to major league baseball where Barry Bonds is the fall guy for the top brass in the burgeoning steroid scandal. There is no way that Commissioner Bud (Lite) Selig and the owners were unaware of rampant steroid use when Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa hit 70 and 66 home runs, respectively, in 1998. [Maguire hit 245 home runs from 1996 through 1999, averaging more than Babe Ruth's near-mythical 60 home runs over a four-year period. In the preceding 10 seasons, Maguire hit 265 home runs, an average of less than 27 per year]. At the very least, Selig et al were “consciously indifferent” to steroid use. So go ahead Barry. Hammer a few more into the bay, and maybe foul a hard one off Selig’s skull should he relent and come to a game.

LAY OFF TOM CRUISE: Why does everyone pick on Tom Cruise? I don’t care if he’s a Scientology crackpot or if does backflips off Oprah Winfrey’s couch. He’s a fine actor with an Oscar nomination (“Born on the Fourth of July”), and he's played an astonishing variety of roles in some damn fine films. Check out “A Few Good Men,” “Jerry Maguire,” and “Rain Man,” not to mention the teen classic, “Risky Business.” As for "Mission Impossible 3," it's a helluva roller-coaster ride with a rock 'em, sock 'em pace. Okay, so the dialogue isn't exactly "All About Eve." But in the "Die Hard" genre of action films with heart, it stacks up well.

WHO'S FABIO? No, Jim Grippando, I didn't want Fabio's autograph. I wanted Fabiano Anthony Forte Bonaparte a/k/a Fabian to sign my 45 r.p.m. sleeve of "Turn Me Loose."

DIXIE CHICKS CLICK: I love the smart and sassy Dixie Chicks. But I like corny country, too, including Joe Nichols' rendition of "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off." Even Cole Porter would have to admire these lyrics: "Them panty hose ain't gonna last too long...If the D.J. puts Bon Jovi on."

Paul Levine